The Struggle with Agape

1 John 4:7-8, 20-21

 ⁷ Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. ⁸ But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 20 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? ²¹ And he has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters.

Valentine’s Day is upon us, but let’s face it - we have a problem with love and loving. We have reduced love to a word and not an action. A noun and not a verb. We have taken love and distorted it, molding it for our own selfish ambitions and purposes. We use the word love to get someone in bed, get money in our pockets, get our material needs met. (You’ll get the fancy clothes but be naked on the inside).  Temporary things, inconsequential things. We have thrown around the word so much that it has become unrecognizable and to some unattainable. We have scooped out its meaning and purpose so much so that it has become a shell of itself – leaving a mass of broken hearts in its wake. We have made it something to do and not something to BE. We’ve placed conditions on something that should be unconditional. We struggle with love. The concept of love. The idea of love. We do this because we haven’t mastered perfect love. 

Nowhere is this struggle more prominent than when it comes to our loving our brothers and sisters in Christ as mandated in the great commandment given by Jesus Christ in Matthew 22 –  ³⁷ Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 

In 1960 prolific Irish writer and scholar C.S. Lewis, published a book called the Four Loves, which explored the nature of love from a Christian and philosophical perspective. In it, he concluded that there four different kinds of love:

Storge – affection

Affection (storge, στοργή) is fondness through familiarity (a brotherly love), especially between family members -  

Philia – friendship Philia is the love between friends. Friendship is the strong bond existing between people who share common interest or activity. 

Eros – romance

Eros (ἔρως) for Lewis was love in the sense of 'being in love' or 'loving' someone, and

Agape – unconditional love  

Charity (agapē, ἀγάπη) is the love that brings forth caring regardless of the circumstance. Lewis recognizes this as the greatest of loves, and sees it as a specifically Christian virtue. It is the active love of God in relation to his people. It is this same active love that we, his people, people should have for each other, and for our enemies.

Storg - Affection comes and goes. Philia -Friendships can die off. Eros -Romance can fade. But how many of you are glad that AGAPE doesn’t have a loophole?  AGAPE is the love that 1 John speaks of in our text. 

According to theologians, the Book of 1 John was likely written between A.D. 85-95. All three books have from earliest times been attributed to the apostle John, who also wrote the Gospel of John. The content, style, and vocabulary seem to warrant the conclusion that these three epistles were addressed to the same readers as the Gospel of John, though the text in itself contains no hint of the identity of the Christian community to which it was addressed. What can be said about the audience was that  (1) they were Christians, (2) they appear to have been well-known to the author (and he to them), and (3) they were facing a threat from false teaching, a threat which was both serious and which appears to have arisen from within their Christian community(1 John 2:18-19).

False spiritual teachers were a big problem in the early church, and many fell prey to pretenders who taught their own ideas and advanced themselves as leaders. John wrote this letter to set the record straight on some important issues, Because John's letter was about the basics of faith in Christ, it helped his readers reflect honestly on their faith. It helped them answer the question, Are we true believers? John told them that they could tell by looking at their actions. If they loved one another, that was evidence of God's presence in their lives. But if they bickered and fought all the time or were selfish and did not look out for one another, they were betraying that they, in fact, did not know God.

These letters in 1, 2 and 3 John focus on three major topics of concern - Doctinal, Moral, and Societal. Doctrinal (Teaching/Instruction - Do you believe in Christ? What you have learned about him? etc), Moral ( Your values, your attitude, your character - how do you act behind closed doors? Are you following the commandments/precepts of Christ?) - Societal. It is here, where agape is stressed.  How do you treat God’s people? Do you love them? Do you care about their needs etc).– Can they tell that you are a disciple of Christ? Do you walk what you talk?  

Depending on the version of the Bible you are reading, the AGAPE meaning of Love appears approximately 228 times in the New Testament. Such was its importance to the Christian lifestyle that 1 John mentions it 29 times in just 17 verses. It begins in chapter 2:7, with the writer repeating Jesus’ commandment that we mentioned earlier, adding  to it that Christ himself lived the truth of the commandment  - in other words, he practiced what he preached. (Point: We are never commanded to do something that Christ didn’t do)

He goes on to say in chapter 2 that he is “writing these things so that we will not sin.” He reminds us that the commandment he is giving is NOT NEW. ⁹ He who says he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness until now. ¹⁰ He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him. ¹¹ But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes. Have you ever tried to walk around in the dark? It is easy to stumble and fall. If you and another person tried to walk in the dark, you can cause them to fall. This is how it is when you say you live in the light yet hate your brother. 

He revisits the subject again in chapter 3 again repeating the “¹ For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.” Here, he likens those who do not love to Cain, calling us Murderers. Vs. 15 -Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him. (Point: This speaks to our responsibility as keepers of our brothers and sisters. Our lack of love can result in murder).

And finally in our beginning text – calling those who claim to love God but hates their brother a liar – 

Stumbling block. Murderer. Liar. Is this how you want to be seen? 

If God is love and we are made in God’s image, then AGAPE is the spirit within us. Unconditional love is within us.  This love heals the broken, empowers the timid, affirms the hesitant, and elevates those who have been overlooked, forgotten, and silenced. There is a power that comes to those who show and to those who receive unconditional love. Those who show this love are released from being consumed with themselves. Those who receive this love are released from limitations others have placed on them.

It was this kind of love that caused God to create us. Agape keeps us from getting what we deserve. It caused God to give up his Son. It caused Christ to get on the cross and it made him stay there. And as he hung dying for our sin, it caused him to pray for our forgiveness. There is no greater love than man can have for a friend. If he could do all of that for us, how much can we do for each other? Here's how not to struggle:

Subdue your Flesh
One of the reasons we struggle with loving as commanded is outlined in Romans 8:5 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.
The mind that is set on the flesh is against God, the word says you are hostile to God – you are unreceptive, you are argumentative, you don’t want to do what God says.

Submit to God’s Authority
Submission to God's authority is, saying that not my will, Thine be done, or on the contrary, saying, I don't care what the rules are. I am going to do it my way. Everything God created on Heaven and on Earth, functions by Spiritual Authority. To be in the will of God and have the favor of God, you must be under Spiritual Authority. Angels are messengers of God and they do not do as they feel led, they do as their told. They have awesome power, but that power is there because of their total submission to the will of God. Revisiting 1 John 2 - And we can be sure that we know him if we obey his commandments. 4 If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. 5 But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him. 6 Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.

Your obedience to God will set the pace to your blessing. Of course, when you do God's purpose, it releases God's power in your life. According to the scriptures, you were bought with a price, which is the blood of Jesus Christ. You are the servant of the living God, you are the sheep, He is the shepherd, and so you ought to follow Him. He is King Jesus and it is His Kingdom, His power and Glory.

Study God’s Example
The message version of Ephesians 5: 1-2 reads,

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that. 

Strengthen your Relationship 
Spend time with God. Pray. Fast. Meditate. Let him love on you. And love him in return. If you love him you will follow his commandments

Scrutinize your Faith 
Put it on the examining table. You cannot have love without faith. The Bible tells us, "Now abideth faith, hope and charity (which is agape love there), the greatest of these is charity (or love)." So, love is greatest but faith is first. You can't have anything from God without faith. Everything you receive is by faith, "…not by works of righteousness which we have done but according to his mercy he saved us" and faith is not of ourselves.

See Yourself through God’s Eyes
In the great commandment Christ not only stated that we should love God, but also to love our neighbors AS WE LOVE OURSELVES. The ability to love yourself begins with knowing who you are in God! Many of us cannot love our neighbors because we don’t consider our own selves worthy of God’s love. We cannot see how we, with all of our stuff, can be loved by God. Understanding your value in God, how He sees you – he calls you friend, the apple of his eye, his masterpiece, his workmanship, his child… In seeing yourself how God sees you, it will make it easier for you to receive his love and give that love to others in return. Forgive YOURSELF!

Share what you want others to give to You
If we wish to be loved, we must give love. If we wish to be respected, we must respect all persons - even those we dislike. If we wish to be forgiven, we must also forgive. If we wish others to speak kindly of us, we must speak kindly of them and avoid gossip. If we want strong marriages, we must be loyal and faithful to our spouses. If we wish to be fulfilled in our lives, we must share generously with others. If we wish to reap the rewards of our Heavenly Father's love, we must truly love all His people. So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (NIV, Matthew 7:12).
I challenge you today - Don’t be a Stumbling block. Don’t be a Murderer. Don’t be a liar. Use the keys I’ve given you - SUBDUE your flesh. SUBMIT to God’s Authority. STUDY God’s example. STRENGTHEN your relationship. SCRUTINIZE your Faith. SEE yourself as He sees you and SHARE it with others so that you can receive it in return. These are the keys to truly loving your brother as God loves us. By this shall all men know that we are His disciples! 

Until next time, be blessed and be a blessing!
Sue